Musings of Prisni

Aaarggghhhh

2011-01-14T02:32:00.000-08:00

I hate group therapy sessions!

9th Waste in Lean should be = Actions/ Outcomes from "Group therapy sessions"of sizes larger than 10 with a unusual and misdirected sense of urgency!!!

Conversion to a Photo Blog

2009-06-27T05:41:00.001-07:00

Rant

2008-04-10T09:02:00.000-07:00

“Andy Warhol was wrong, in the future, people won’t be famous for fifteen minutes.
No, in the future everyone will sit next to someone famous for atleast fifteen minutes!”

Rant
Chuck Palahniuk

Hidden...

2007-10-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

This track is not listed on the cover of the acoustic version of Jagged Little Pill. The surprise was discovering the lyrics written all over on the inside of the CD cover.:)
Alanis Morristte's writing has always been deeply expressive, a combination of words I could never find elsewhere. Her songs have been suprisingly close to my unsaid expressions....

I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
I opened your door without ringing the bell
I walked down the hall
Into your room
Where I could smell you
And I shouldn't be here, without permission
I shouldn't be here

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
I went through your drawers
And found your cologne
Went down to the den
Found your CD's
And I played your Joni
And I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon
I shouldn't stay long

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I burned your incense
I ran a bath
I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said "Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing

So forgive me love
If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love
For the salt in your bed
So forgive me love
If I cry all afternoon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JacKpS-aaE

A space between...

2007-09-11T10:25:00.000-07:00

All the hours spent
In hightened emotion
From a sting to a sharp pain
All the days spent
Drowning in tears
Swing back and forth
Between you and between me..

Leaves its mark....
As a space between,
As a cold silence,
In the clearing
There will always remain
A space between.

All the words spoken
In pure emotion
In hope maybe
In stark honesty maybe
To maybe save the day.
Create nothing but
A space between.

All the nights spent
In those arms
An alternate reality
Painfully divine
Feels like an abyss
Leaves that space between.

All the guilt,
Leaves a space between

Ramblings again...

2007-09-05T11:41:00.000-07:00

An evening of mixed emotions, a sort of an overture of faint depression that lead to a string thought that wove itself into words…

Living in quite reticence,
Living with imperfection,
With a taunting image of perfection,
Is that what this has come to be?
Is that what we have brought..
Upon ourselves?

Living in quite guarded spaces,
Living without free expression,
With a lingering hope of rescue,
Is that what we have come to be?

The perceptive eye,
Seems to see much more,
Than words can ever say,
Everything around seems to be,
In layers if I may say…

And within these four walls,
There is a me no one will ever see,
Is where I have come to be?
Against all I was told I would be?......

For someone special...

2007-09-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

For someone who has come to be a very close friend of mine…a sort of goodbye note..

May you always see,
The truth as plain as it may be,
Seek comfort in the all positivity,
Surrounding you, keeping you
From going astray,

Hope you come to hear the words,
You need to hear,
Words that will set it all right
Words that will comfort you
Keep you warm in your coldest hour..

I hope you travel far and wide,
See things that fascinate you,
And all that you have always wanted to see,
That gives you more a different perspective,
Of the greatness in this life..

I hope that in the light,
Things as they have come to be,
You have made the best of it all,
And that when you look back in time,
You smile knowingly,

In times of trial,
I hope you find your strength
In times of question,
May you know the answers,
May you never know regret..

I hope that you find peace
I hope that you find Love,
Above all I hope you find happiness,
Always by your side…

Ramblings....

2007-09-03T06:34:00.000-07:00

Some paper cuttings,
Some essays and color books,
Some old cards and keychains
Some wishes, some insults
Some matters of pride
Some of distress..

Memories I would love to share,
Cards I would never tear,
Sea shells saved,
Little trinkets that were,
Everthing old but yet so new..

They are still here with me..
In an old cardboard box
Covered in dust
Hidden from wandering eyes,
Where many memories have been layed
Hoping they would rust.....

Memories...

2007-08-29T13:04:00.000-07:00

My memories of a sunset view at Goa. I finally got a hold over these pictures..

Free Bird.....

2007-07-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.

Love this song, and the feeling it brings along with it...
Love the band for this piece of history -
Lynyrd Skynyrd's legend is grounded in a plane crash that occurred on October 20, 1977, three days after the release of Street Survivors.The cover art showed the band members surrounded by flames. That artwork was quickly changed when three members , who were seen as gripped in flames on the cover of the album, were killed in the plane crash.
In the aftermath that pursued, superstition gripped those involved with the band's production, and the original Street Survivors album was pulled form store shelves, to be replaced by a toned-down version. Only a few of these "flaming" covers still survive as collector's items.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUXXQukfrKg

Crash and burn...

2007-07-06T12:32:00.000-07:00

Crash and burn my dear,
And you will loose your fear,
It only lasts a while….
The pain
It will be over soon.

Heave and breathe in my dear,
And you feel high
It will soon exhale out…
The breath,
It will be over soon

Fall hard on your knees my dear,
And you will feel the last sting of pain,
It will soon turn numb…
Your knees
It will be over soon

Blink and close your eyes my dear,
And you will see nothing,
It will soon fade out
The light
It will be over soon.

Don’t let it get to you my dear,
Fight it out my dear,
It will loose grip my dear
For all the glory hold on my dear…..

Kashmir..

2007-07-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

There was a buzz in my head,
Its been a while since I heard this one....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTaOvzZKRxA

Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed

Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace, whose sounds caress my ear
But not a word I heard could I relate, the story was quite clear
Oh, oh.

Oh, I been flying... mama, there aint no denyin
Ive been flying, aint no denyin, no denyin

All I see turns to brown, as the sun burns the ground
And my eyes fill with sand, as I scan this wasted land
Trying to find, trying to find where Ive been.

Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream
Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream
My shangri-la beneath the summer moon, I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high and true, when movin through kashmir.

Oh, father of the four winds, fill my sails, across the sea of years
With no provision but an open face, along the straits of fear
Ohh.

When Im on, when Im on my way, yeah
When I see, when I see the way, you stay-yeah

Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, when Im down...
Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, well Im down, so down
Ooh, my baby, oooh, my baby, let me take you there

Let me take you there. let me take you there

.......

2007-06-22T14:03:00.000-07:00

While going back and forth through the expressions below, something odd struck me….
Yes (….)
Wonder what they are about, really……..

Little notes.....

2007-05-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

Scribbles on the last few pages of notebooks,
Some complete, some incomplete,
These are my expressions,
Faint, etched in lead
Erasable but meaningful…

I am these scribbles,
Illegible to others, legible to myself,
Incomplete to others
Complete to myself

I stop when I’ve run out
I stop when I think I’d rather imagine
I stop when the words cease
When I think maybe all can’t be written

No hables en plural......

2007-05-04T11:23:00.000-07:00

No se puede vivir con tanto veneno,
La esperanza que me da tu amor,
No me la dió más nadie,
Te juro, no miento.....

Infatuated....smitten...

2007-04-13T01:11:00.000-07:00

Am I an atheist?

2007-04-05T12:07:00.000-07:00

"One could believe that God created the universe at the instant of the Big Bang.He could have even created it at a time in just such a way as to make it look as though there had been a big bang.But it would be meaningless to suppose that it was created before the big bang, as time had a beginning at the big bang.An expanding universe does not preclude a creator, but it does place limits on when He might have carried out this job"

Stephen W Hawking.

Quicksand....

2007-03-25T09:14:00.000-07:00

The first track on the new album of the band Incubus. The song has a surreal trance like flow to it, I've been gripped by this tune for sometime now.
The lyrics weave a haunting spell.....
Brandon Boyd does a brillant job on the vocals..

The lyrics are -
"OK… now the monster is awake.
It won’t rest until there’s nothing left.
Maybe ever & anonI forget about the pain.
Someone bending light comes along& flowers lean towards the sun.
Some people fall in love & touch the sky
Some people fall in love & find quicksand.
I hover somewhere in between… I swear…I can’t make up my mind. "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5386nnK3L4

Varanasi....

2007-01-30T09:28:00.000-08:00

Waiting...

2007-01-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

I saw him, seated on the floor , close to the enquiry counter at a railway station. His eyes were set deep within, there were many tell tale lines on his face, he lay down a carpet and peacefully and sat on the floor. He was not going to waste his time looking for a waiting room seat I suppose. There was an expression of distant calm on his face, but the expression his hands caught my attention first....

Alive...

2007-01-10T10:51:00.000-08:00

You think that I am alive
So full of life to give
Oh! No you don’t know
I died inside a long time before
Before I knew I had.

All of this is unreal;You will not know why
You can only try
To understand why……
I cry

I’m choking to death
I know you can’t see
You can only place the wreath
And claim you cried a sea,

I need to breathe free
You used to provide that escape
You not know where I am
Or how I have come to be

I can’t change the sign for you
The warning was for you
You chose to ignore
The clue that was meant for you

You despise me I know
Coz you know yours I can never be,
I can’t belong
Coz I do not belong.

I see you...

2006-07-25T14:32:00.000-07:00

I see you,
You may hide from me
Truth is, I still see you,
I see you,
You may be running away,
But I still see you.

I stand still,
You walk, you run,
But I’m still here,
Though now you are someone else,
I’m still here,
Still me, standing still.

I’ll hold you,
You will let go I know,
But I’ll still stay warm,
Though now you turn cold,
I’ll still be able to hold you.

I’d want you,
You might think yourself unworthy,
But you know what,
I still don’t see how,
Coz I’ll still want you.

The fog of dust,
Around me settles,
In the distance is a silhouette,
I’m trying harder to see,
Words don’t come by easy anymore,
Realization of a pain,
Renders my senses weak,

It is the absence of your presence,
I tell myself,
I glance down,
What do I see?
The wounds are penetrating me.....

Not An Addict...

2006-07-25T12:10:00.000-07:00

Breathe it in and breathe it out
And pass it on, it's almost out
We're so creative, so much more
We're high above but on the floor

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side

The deeper you stick it in your vein
The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain
I'm in heaven, I'm a god
I'm everywhere, I feel so hot

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

It's over now, I'm cold, alone
I'm just a person on my own
Nothing means a thing to me
(Nothing means a thing to me)

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

Free me, leave me
Watch me as I'm going down
Free me, see me
Look at me, I'm falling and I'm falling.

It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive I feel...
It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)
I'm not an addict...

An old favorite song of mine, it is by a band called K's choice, that rose to glory sometime in 1995 with this single from their album ‘Paradise In Me'. Sarah Bettens the lead vocalist or the band that composed this song may not have wanted to convey what I have interpreted.....To me its not just about drug addiction, its about living becoming a habit, you allow yourself the liberty to see it as the truth and feel alive, a sort of mind numbing experience if you will.
As alive as dead……

Je rêve

2006-07-18T15:02:00.000-07:00

Ever had that feeling of waking up in a dream and thinking it was reality…..

In the midst of a subconscious state of mind,
I see images close to reality,
In the midst of a state of being unaware,
I feel, all I see through the mind’s eye.

Images of places I may never see,
Conversations I may never have,
Faces known and faces I may never see,
Reminisces of events…

Buon Fresco

2006-04-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

Inlayed into the bitti,
Forever forced to be,
To be a lasting imagination
Forever forced to be,
To be the outcome of elaborate and yet refined strokes,
Of an artist’s brush

Generously full bodied,
Generously beautified,
A vision recreated,
To a solidified form,
Externally admirable,
Insightful to only a few

Not just one;
There are many,
They adorn the bitti,
They float along prastara
Trampled upon the bhumika,
Frozen in time

Living in quite reticence
Expressions frozen,
Of moments in time,
As testimony to an era,
A lasting tale,
Retold many a time

Voices from the past
Whistle through the air,
Amidst sounds of ghungroo,
A sudden outcry of voices,
Screaming out from the cold plaster,
Louder cries of agony

Vapors of their souls,
Come alive
They encircle the onlooker,
They expressions change,
To tormented anger
Vindictively questioning eyes

Silence, No answers
Explanations no answers,
An engulfing feeling of guilt,
Tears don’t offer cover,
Pieces of missing colour
Signs of stained souls,
Still fighting
Against the ravages of time….

These tears...

2006-03-28T15:19:00.000-08:00

These tears I cry
For all the times I try
Cover myself in reticence
These tears I cry
They are mine
And mine alone they will be.

This ache I feel,
This pain deep inside me,
For all the times I have tried to contain,
Is mine and mine alone it will be.

So you think you can still be
An inseparable part of me
You think you can hold me
And share this weight with me
You think you can be there
‘Be there’ or ‘Be here’ for me
Where is here?
Where is there?
It is not where I am for sure
Are you sure you are still going to be
An inseparable part of me…?

21 bucks.

2006-03-27T08:49:00.000-08:00

“The money is yours” He said
Your damn right its mine I thought,
He held them out for me to take,
Many a reason I sought,
To explain….

“It’s not mine” I said,
I’m not here to take,
That which is not mine
I’d feel awful if I did,
No, don’t give it to me..

“No, It’s yours” He said
Without a flicker of his eyes
He almost looked like he had no clue,
But it doesn’t hide his masochistic ties,
Or his world of lies.

He puts it in my pocket,
As I get up to leave once again,
I wish I didn’t have to,
I wish it wasn’t this way
I wish I didn’t have to,

But, it’s true,
It’s almost Monday again,
I have to go back to being me
He is already elsewhere,
Two separate lives again.

Would this be more....????

2006-03-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Would this be more than,
Glances thrown at each other,
With many implications,
This would be more than,
A racing heart beat,
When in eye contact with each other.

Would this be more than,
The countless hours of desperate anticipation,
The concoction of images of the what ifs and maybes,
More than time spent in reticence,
When faced with little abandonments

Would this be more than
The countless hours of apparent conversation,
Juggling around with ambiguous words;
Would this be more than,
The creation of colored picturesque mirages.

Would this be more than,
Another one of those feel good connections,
More than many unfulfilling momentary highs
More than just a temporary tenant
In an already crowded room.

Would this mean more than,
Skipping a heart beat,
When accidentally touched
More than patiently plotting ;
And guiding movements for it to happen again

Would this be more than being,
Largely intrigued by a possibility
Would this be more…………
A figment of my imagination?

Cold Water...

2006-03-09T09:21:00.000-08:00

Cold water;
Awakens my senses with its stings,
I close my eyes and inhale,
breathe in as much as I can,
The air fills my senses.

Cold water;
I am liberated, I have spoken
This constant flow redeems me

I feel the current as I walk further
It calls out to me,
I can hear the faint rapture,
I am drawn towards a force I can’t see,

I look around me,
I see no origin to this strange calling,
The distant song leads me on
My feet lead me toward this solitary tune

My feet glide through the water,
With no respect the flow,
Without falter despite the unevenness,
Without any fear,

The rays of light shine through
Shine through the branches overhead,
The water sparkles with life,
Serenity fills the air around,

Water fills my senses,
My sense of self is lost,
The ripples that surround
Embrace me,

Cold water;
I am liberated, I have spoken,
The weightlessness lifts my soul….

If you

2006-01-30T08:50:00.000-08:00

If you stay, so will I;
If you walk, I’ll try
It asks too much of me, but I’ll try,
If you want to go away,
You can, I won’t ask you to stay.

If you try harder,
I’ll make efforts to equal yours,
If you call upon me, I’ll return your call.
If you say you’ll be around,
I’ll gladly acknowledge your presence.

If you come to me,
I’ll turn around to watch you,
Gather yourself together
I will watch you pick up the pieces,

If you want to you can,
You can bring your tears to me,
No, I’ll never ask to be heard
Even if my heart weighs heavy,
I’ll try and remain steady.

These feelings are for you,
You may never ask for them,
But gladly you receive ,
All I give
Ever so humble,
Ever so polite,

Yes, this all I can give,
Yes, there is no more,
No more of myself
That I can share.

You can never be much more,
Than all that you are
Never inseparable,
Never close,
Always unaware.

I will remain guarded,
I will be contained in your presence,
I will remain defensive,
I will remain absorbent,
No, nothing more
Never, anything more.

I saw her on the street one day....

2006-01-26T12:23:00.000-08:00

Should it be blue bangles or green?
No, I won’t distinguish,
Not today,
I will wear all;
All of my jewellery,
I will accoutre myself in my best,
In the best that this life has bestowed.

I will walk the streets today
In a different stride,
Not in my usual submissive mode,
But in a consciously confident saunter,
For reasons not apparent to this world,
I know inquisitive eyes will follow me today unlike yesterday,

I shall choose the same path,
I want familiar faces to see me,
With time to spare;
I will stop and let this world stare,
I’m sure they would today, unlike yesterday;

I leave behind no more than another carefree soul;
I have not much to call my own,
I carry my possessions with me,
To help me where I intend to be,
I have been largely unnoticed until today,
But I will be noticed today, unlike yesterday,

My walk through life has faced uneven roads,
Roads that discouragingly wind uphill;
But today has taken a different turn, unlike yesterday

I feel taller; I ‘m filled with anticipation,
I getting closer to my beginning,
I am euphoric, I feel divine,
As wait for the abyss to engulf me,
I close my eyes to this brightness,
I feel no pain today, unlike yesterday.